The 11th Commandment
What do you do when a family member, friend, church member, or co-worker really hurts you and disrespects you? How do you obey the 11th commandment? “Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40
The truth is that hurt people are going to hurt people, and everyone on planet earth has experienced this reality. That’s why it is really important to learn to love yourself by healing your hurts, so that you can love your neighbor. Many times in my life I’ve experienced varying degrees of betrayal where there has been a breech of trust causing deep negative emotions and hurts. These are the times that it is really hard to love “that” neighbor. What do you do? Here are five tips that I’ve learned over the years that I have found very helpful.
Write, Write, Write - Write with pen on a piece of paper everything you are feeling. Typing or dictating to your computer/phone can be good, but I’ve found it is best when I use a pen and paper. Something happens from the brain down the arm to the paper that helps release and interrupt the grinding mantra of hurt, frustration, anger, disappointment, sadness, etc.
Roar - Yes, yelling is very therapeutic. There is a chemical release that seems to happen from the gut that relaxes the nervous system.
Cry - Crying is a great way to let go of pent up negative emotions. It too chemically relaxes the nervous system.
Breathe - Deep breathing is a another great way to calm the body. Whether you’re just getting some fresh air or doing a full blown workout, the goal is to allow your blood stream to flow. As blood flow increases, it helps dissipate the toxic chemicals in your body caused by negative emotions. Our brain is a chemical factory run by hormones and electrical synapses. The goal is to come to homeostasis as quickly as possible so that you don’t put your body at risk for sickness. As the saying goes, “Feelings buried alive never die.” This is one reason why many people suffer with chronic illness.
Be - Lastly and most importantly, be with God. I go to Father God and sit on His lap when I’m feeling negative emotions. You can too. He loves to hold us and comfort us. He knows how we are feeling. As we submit to Him, He helps us find peace and forgiveness, even when we don’t feel like it. He heals the brokenhearted and frees us from fear, even if the other person who hurt us does not respond as we would like.
Understand that forgiveness is one way (me to them), but reconciliation is two way. Unfortunately, some people are so broken they can’t or don’t know how to reconcile. You’ll have to decide how you want to move forward in the relationship. Seek out Godly counsel and support, and set good boundaries that can help restore the trust.
Whatever the situation may be, it’s healthy to admit what you are feeling. It becomes unhealthy when these feelings take over your life, which in turn causes sickness in the body. This is why we need to find ways to interrupt the negative thoughts and emotions as quickly as possible, so the hurt can be healed. As emotions come in waves, it is important to repeat the five tips.
Also, we need to remember that we’re not fighting with flesh and blood people, but against principalities and powers Eph 6:12. This is called the law of separation. Yes, that person may be coming into alignment with the spirit of disrespect due to their unhealed hurts and insecurities, but realize that evil wants to destroy your relationship with that person. So, fight against evil instead of that person. It’s the best way to love your neighbor as yourself because you’re directing your anger and fighting in the right way.
This is how you love your “enemies”, by praying Holy Spirit on them. If they listen to Holy Spirit then there will be peace, and it’s wonderful when this happens. However, if they don’t, then they will get their reward in due time. Either way, you get the joy of the Lord and upgrades are coming!! Hallelujah!
May your heartbrokenness be healed with the oil of joy so that you can love yourself and in turn love your neighbor. This is the ultimate example of what it means to be blessed and be a blessing In Jesus Name! Go forth bold, blessed, and brilliant! Subscribe and comment below.